


the eighth wonder of a long-lost planet

by swordgay



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: Grieving, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Moving On, POV Second Person, Past Relationship(s), [vaguely gestures at everything in EOS 10 s3] you know, spoilers for the finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 01:26:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16316483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordgay/pseuds/swordgay
Summary: He is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and you’ve been to more planets than you can count on your two hands.





	the eighth wonder of a long-lost planet

There’s something about space stations after 0200 hours.

There’s something about the way he looks at you after putting the Silent Storm on autopilot like he’s been waiting for this for a lifetime.

You stare into his eyes, notice the way the lights from the console are reflected in them, and your stomach flips; this is one of the first occasions you’ve had to just look at him, like really look at him, and you notice the way he’s looking at you for the first time. He’s always been forward and clear about how he felt about you, from embarrassing innuendos to barely-concealed flirting, but this thing in his eyes is wordless, like he adores you, and it hits you like a train — you’ve never really understood what that old Earth saying meant before, but you think you do now.

“Ryan,” he says, voice broken and devoid of his usual charm, and you nod like you understand everything he’s trying to say. You think you know what he’s asking you with that word.

It turns out you’re right when he leans over to from his seat to reach yours and kisses you full on the lips, and you expected him to be a forceful passionate kisser but he’s almost shy with it, barely moving against your mouth. It’s unlike anything you’ve experienced before, but you gladly welcome his stubble scratching your own and his hands on the side of your face. You cover them with yours and pull him in closer, kiss him until he gets the hint and gets out of his seat to straddle you, his thighs bracketing your waist like a weight you’ve been waiting for forever.

You reach for his hair to grab onto and it’s surprisingly soft, given his lifestyle, and that makes you smile against his lips like maybe you’ve struck gold or discovered an ancient civilisation. He almost purrs at that and you make notes to remember it, to do more things that make him make that sweet sound again.

“Ryan,” he says again when you pull apart for air, resting his forehead against yours, “you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for.”

You smile and breathe out a ghost of a laugh because you do. You know he was fucked the moments he first laid eyes on you and you were, too, despite how long it took for you to recognise it.

“How long do we have?” you ask, acknowledging what you don’t want to, that this isn’t a moment you’re lucky enough to stay in forever.

“She’s a fast ship, so I’d say ‘bout two hours. Why, darlin’,” he thumbs at your lower lip, “you got anything in mind?”

You don’t have words for things like this yet, or you don’t want to put words on them, so you just kiss him again instead, hoping he gets the hint when you bite at his lip in a moment of foreign bravery. After all, you’ve never been as good at implying thing like this. You feel him smile when he kisses down your neck and against your jaw, biting you in return in all the right places, and it’s your turn to make a sound this time, halfway between a sigh and a moan. You’d be embarrassed if you didn’t feel so light-headed. He walks you backwards to the small room where he keeps a mattress and some blankets, and the lights in there are dim and golden, painting what could almost be a halo behind his head. When he kneels between your legs to kiss at your now bare thighs, he is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and you’ve been to more planets than you can count on your two hands. He touches you gently, not like you’re fragile but like he cares and wants you to know it, and it’s not long before you melt under his touch and make a mess of his sheets. You’re breathless afterwards, lying there exposed and completely blissed out, and he’s smiling at you like you’re the eighth wonder of a long-lost planet. There’s still time, so you help him clean up and fall back on the mattress to curl up into his side, still feeling like you’re floating.

He wraps a tattooed arm around you, and you know that no matter what happens, no one can ever take that moment away from you.

_____________________

You’re wrong, as it turns out. You wake up one morning and it turns out nobody knows him, and all you have to remember him by is the memory of your skin against his. You’ve felt pain before and witnessed so many different forms of it at your day job, but nothing compares to the pain in your chest whenever someone shakes their head no, tells you that they’ve never heard of him. You look at your body in the mirror before you get dressed and you run your hands over the places he’d left marks what now feels like years ago when the world was worse off but at least you had him.

_____________________

It takes you time, but eventually, you accept that even if you put everything back to the way it was and went back in time, he’d sacrifice himself anyway because that’s the kind of person he is (you still can’t bring yourself to say ‘was’). Jane tells you that if you love someone you should let them go, and god did you love him, so you try to do just that. You have a makeshift funeral for him in the cargo bay, lighting what seems to be the only candles on all of EOS 10, and you tell him everything you never got to. It feels like a weight off your shoulders after that, even if you’ll remember him sometimes and your heart will ache. You suppose that’s just what grief does.

_____________________

You don’t take Maddox —David, he keeps telling you to call him, but switching between formality during the day and first names in private gives you whiplash— back to your quarters until the fourth date. He’s a gentleman, asking you if you’re sure before he undresses you, and you nod, find yourself laughing your first genuine laugh in a while when he struggles to undo his uniform. The bed moves and bangs against the wall that night, and you’re pretty sure whoever has their quarters next to yours can hear it when you ask for more, but you can’t bring yourself to care much. You’ve earned this, you think. It wasn’t easy to get to this point, but there you are, and it’s too early to tell what might happen, but you’re happy for now. He wraps his arms around you afterwards, and you fall asleep to him kissing the top of your neck. It’s not the future you would have pictured for yourself months ago, but it’s more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like an hour because I was in pain after listening to the finale, thank you for your time


End file.
